


Forget me not

by crescenttwins



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst and Feels, F/M, Imported, Kinkmeme, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-04-04 13:39:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4139766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crescenttwins/pseuds/crescenttwins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lelouch isn't Suzaku's soulmate. </p>
<p>Instead, life after life, he is the one who falls in love and tries to keep them apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forget me not

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Lelouch isn’t Suzaku’s soul mate. He’s the one that keeps Suzaku away from the person who has been searching for him throughout a countless number of lives (perhaps Euphy?). Leleouch’s destiny is to forever stand between them. Sometimes he wins. Sometimes he loses. Sometimes he’s deliberate in separating them. Sometimes it’s sheer accident. But every time, he’s madly in love.

**05.**  
  
He's done this; Lelouch has done this, so many times, and he doesn't know what else to do. He meets Euphemia's eyes in the doorway, her face pale as she takes in the scene before her.  
  
Suzaku sucks on Lelouch's neck, scraping his teeth over a fading bruise. He's hard, his cock slick with pre-come in Lelouch's hand and fingers possessively over his hips. Lelouch can't help but move against his sister's best friend, curl his legs around Suzaku's hips. His cock slides against Suzaku's abdomen, and he hides his face in Suzaku's neck, gasping. There's a sick feeling of happiness here, because Suzaku kisses him possessively, eyes focused only on him.  
  
They're on her bed, and Suzaku starts kneading Lelouch's ass. He murmurs, slick and wet against Lelouch's chest, suckles his nipples, and Lelouch gives in. He lets Suzaku slide into him, still wet from their previous session, and--  
  
Suzaku doesn't hear her strangled cry, but Lelouch does.   
  
It's terrible and wonderful, the feeling of victory. He doesn't think that he can regret it when Suzaku is his.  
  


* * *

  
**04.**  
  
Lelouch cries, his face wet as he clings to Nunnally's broken body. The car is smashed apart, steel beams piercing through the windshield. His little sister smiles at him as the monitors begin to scream, and a rush of nurses push him out of the room.  
  
He sobs in that hallway, dripping wet from the rain and covered in blood, and hears his sister die.  
  
A week later, Euphemia brings her new boyfriend to Nunnally's funeral. The man hugs her as she cries softly, murmuring sweetly to her. Lelouch hates her, because no matter what life it is, she and Suzaku pull towards each other like magnets, like bodies who can not exist apart.  
  
Lelouch closes his eyes and pretends that the tears are only for Nunnally. He thinks she would forgive him for the lie.  
  


* * *

  
**03.**  
  
"I'm pregnant."  
  
Lelouch looks up, his eyebrows raised. "You're a guy, Suzaku."  
  
His friend laughs. "Well-- uh, actually..." He rubs the back of his head, sending curls flying.   
  
Lelouch sighs, puts down his book, and stands. He cards his fingers through Suzaku's hair, gentle. "You're not a female, Suzaku."  
  
"No," Suzaku confirms, "but I'm having a baby!"  
  
A hard pit forms in Lelouch's throat, making him struggle to get the next word out. "Who?" He knows,  _he knows_ , in his heart, but he needs to hear Suzaku say it. Because maybe if it isn't  _her_ , if she isn't monopolizing Suzaku this time around, maybe they can be together--  
  
"Your cousin," Suzaku meets his eyes dead on, soft and resigned and all of the things Euphemia has ever needed to tear them apart.  
  
"Euphemia," Lelouch breathes.  
  
"Euphemia." Suzaku confirms.  
  
Lelouch's mind begins to spin, because she's won again, again and again and isn't it his turn again yet? Except Suzaku is his own being, his own mind, and Lelouch has never had the right to say no--  
  
"I'm happy for you," Lelouch says, his lips numb. He watches Suzaku smile, radiant and happy. He listens to Suzaku talk about the baby they'll have, the apartment that they're looking at, and quietly (so Suzaku won't hear it, won't notice) breaks inside.  
  


* * *

  
**02.**  
  
Lelouch trades kisses with Suzaku, straddling his lap. Suzaku's hands are drifting lazily up his sides, stroking as he goes along. It's nice, this petting; he never wants the other male to stop touching him, reminding him this is real.   
  
"I don't deserve you," Suzaku says, his lips swollen. He thumbs the curve of Lelouch's spine. "You're beautiful." He's twelve years older than Lelouch, and a soldier again. Lelouch is their newest bright mind.  
  
Lelouch whispers against his face. "With my job, I don't have much pick." He stretches a bit, lets his arms fall around Suzaku's neck.   
  
Suzaku puffs a laugh against his face. "All of the teenage fantasies I ever had." His voice is soft, and Lelouch shrieks when he slides a cold hand up his back.  
  
"What the--?!"  
  
"Got to keep it exciting," Suzaku deadpans, and then thumbs the side of Lelouch's mouth. "Otherwise you'll leave me for a younger man." He follows his fingers with his lips. They make love in the tiny bed, Lelouch muffling his moans into Suzaku's throat. It's easy, this time around.  
  
"My parents have set me up with a girl back home," Suzaku admits, one day.  
  
"Don't," Lelouch says, desperate, and kisses him hard.   
  
Suzaku pulls back, looks at him, wondering, and says, "All right." His voice is rough.  
  
"Don't leave me." Lelouch says, face burning. "Don't marry her."  
  
"Lelouch--"  
  
"Don't even  _meet_  her," he commands, his voice cracking. Lelouch's fingers are curled into his pants, his eyes down; he has never felt so much like a child.   
  
"Oh, Lelouch," Suzaku says finally, pulling the younger male to him. He tucks Lelouch against his chest, big and warm. "I won't meet her. We'll stay, just like this."  
  
He doesn't meet her, this lifetime.   
  
But Lelouch doesn't get to keep him for long, either.  
  


* * *

  
**00.**  
  
The Zero mask is split on the ground, useless halves on the floor.   
  
"I didn't want it," Suzaku says, "to be you."  
  
Behind him, Kallen whispers his name.  
  
His chest aching, Lelouch straightens his back. "Yes," he affirms, "I am Zero, the man who leads the Black Knights, who challenges the Holy Britannian Empire, the one who holds the entire world in his hand." It's over now, he thinks, but in this lifetime at least he will be able to save Nunnally.  
  
"You  _used_  us, the Japanese people?" Kallen asks, "You used  _me_?"  
  
In another life, Lelouch would-- but this is not then. This is now. "And as a result Japan will be freed. You certainly can't complain about that."  
  
"I should have arrested you while I had the chance." Suzaku's face is terrible, and--  
  
"You knew it was me?" Lelouch asks. He had tried so hard to keep it secret, to keep Suzaku from--  
  
"I wasn't sure at first, so I convinced myself that it wasn't true. But I really wanted to believe in you." His voice stays steady, flat. "But you were lying to us, to  _me_. Your sister Euphie. And Nunnally."  
  
Kallen moves in his peripheries, but Lelouch's eyes don't leave Suzaku. "Yes, and now Nunnally's been kidnapped--please, Suzaku, can't we call a temporary truce?" Mao had shown him that he and Suzaku could work together, they could-- "Together, we'll be able to save her. There's nothing in the word that you and I can't do together."  
  
"I'm  _done_  with that! Had you only joined up with Euphie first, we wouldn't be here! If you and she had combined forces, thing would be different! The world could have been--"  
  
"That's all in the past! Over and done with." Lelouch feels his lips moving, his panic over Nunnally and this confrontation driving him. Everything comes down to Euphie, in the end.  
  
"Past?!" Suzaku shouts, incensed.  
  
"You killed your own father, didn't you?! Wallow in remorse when you have time for it!" Lelouch doesn't have time for this, doesn't have time to look at Suzaku in the eyes and pretend he's not in love. There are bigger things, this time around.  
  
"No! You're hopeless!"  
  
Lelouch's mouth feels dry. "What?"  
  
"I know you! In the very end, you'd betray the entire world, the way it's betrayed you! I'm not going to let your sick, twisted dream be realized!"   
  
He could laugh, the way that this has turned out. Because Suzaku isn't wrong; Lelouch is the one who is twisted, and Suzaku doesn't even realize how true the statement is. Suzaku doesn't know how many times he's driven a stake between Suzaku and Euphemia, how many times he's tried to keep the other man for himself. "You fool. You think ideals alone can change the world?! Fine! Then go right ahead and  _shoot me_!" He straps a sakuradite bomb to his chest. This will be his last gamble. "Come on! Set your aim on this liquid sakuradite!"  
  
Suzaku doesn't know.  
  
"If my heart stops, this vial will explode, taking you both with me." They could start over again, in the next lifetime.  
  
"Damn you!"  
  
There was just one unfinished piece of business before he could leave. "Listen, I'll make a deal with you. I want to know who told you about Geass-- did they abduct Nunnally?"  
  
Rage fills Suzaku's face. "Nothing that happens now is any of your concern! Your very existence is a mistake!" Lelouch's chest tightens, his throat beginning to close. "You need to be erased from the face of the Earth!" His limbs begin to shake, fingers tightening around his gun. This is it; this is the last lifetime where Suzaku will be his. "I'll TAKE CARE OF NUNNALLY!"  
  
 _Is that so?_  Lelouch thinks, and swings his gun up to aim at Suzaku.  _Then I'm finished here._  "SUZAKU!" He shouts, eyes burning with unshed tears.  
  
"LELOUCH!" Suzaku screams, and Lelouch is ready.  
  
This time, it'll be over for sure. And Suzaku and Euphemia will be happy together.  
  


* * *

  
  
**01.**    
  
"I love you." Suzaku whispers to someone he can't see. His lover is pressed up against him, clinging to him like he'll disappear. "I love you so much." The person's grips softens, and Suzaku presses a kiss into soft hair. "I'm so happy you're in my world."  
  
They kiss, tongues stroking softly, and he strokes down their back to roll them over into the morning sun. Their limbs tangle together, and he smiles, deliriously happy. He pulls away from his lover, takes in--  
  
The sound of an alarm blares him awake, and he slaps a hand down to turn it off. Beside him, Euphemia blinks awake sleepily, and she accepts his lazy kiss.  
  
"Good morning," he says.  
  
"Good morning," she replies.   
  
He starts getting dressed, and she slips in the doorway to watch him brush his teeth.  
  
"I'll be home late tonight," Euphemia informs him, pulling a towel off the rack to get started on her own shower.  
  
"Oh?" Suzaku asks, mind already on his work for the day. "What for?"  
  
"My cousin passed away," Euphemia says, "Lelouch. You met him at our wedding?" When Suzaku doesn't say anything, she sighs. "It was a heart attack. They think it might have been due to stress." Euphemia starts the shower, but Suzaku can't bring himself to look at her the way he usually would.  
  
There's a sense of emptiness in his chest, and he can't figure out why.


End file.
